Talking With His Mouth Closed
by Druekee
Summary: Sometimes I wish I could see what he saw. His eyes were always distant, like he was living in a world no one but himself could see. Sometimes I wish I was there in the place that he was always at. With him. I want to be always with him. Cartman/Butters
1. Life Lesson One

(_This is mainly a Cartman/Butters fic, but there are other pairings mentioned, some of them het. You have been warned._

_Allllssooooooooooo, nothing will get M rated for a while._

_I hope you want an actual story and if you want porn I suggest you look elsewhere!)_

**Life Lesson One: Hating someone for who they used to be gets you nowhere**

Butters

My lungs felt cold. My entire body felt cold. I wrapped my arms around my torso and closed my eyes, trying to immerse myself in the music I was listening to and tune out my aching bones. It slowly started to work, my mind soaking in the slow, melodic tune and everything around me started to fade away into oblivion. My head rocked to the side, my headphone-covered ear touching my shoulder as my arms were still circled around my stomach. I vaguely heard somebody else stand next to me, though I made no move to see who it was.

The song I was listening to ended, and I moved my head to see who else was here. A familiar, pimply face looked over at me and gave me a look that screamed, "What do you want?" I softly smiled at Eric and then leaned my ear back onto my shoulder as the next song began playing.

Memories suddenly came back from when we were kids and he would use me. I didn't _really_ realize until I was 11 that he was a huge asshole and I shouldn't believe what he tells me or do what he tells me to do. I hated him for a long time after I figured that out, and I only stopped hating him with a passion when I was 15 and realized that hating someone for what they did in the past didn't get me anywhere. So, since then I've sort of had neutral feelings for him, sometimes I don't like what he does, and sometimes I really like something that he does. I'm mainly just glad that he's not a huge jerk anymore.

The bus pulled up, full of my fellow classmates, and I got inside once the driver opened the doors. Eric followed behind me and sat at one of the seats in the middle next to Kenny, who started rambling off about something I couldn't understand since he had his hood up. I walked to the back of the bus and sat down in one of the empty seats by myself. Sometimes somebody would sit next to me if there weren't any other seats left, but there wasn't somebody who just sat next to me because they wanted to. It wasn't like I was disliked by everyone, but I also wasn't the most well known or commonly liked by everyone either. I was just another person. Nothing too special about that, but I was perfectly fine with it that way. The bus closed the doors and then took off, beginning its drive to our school.

The bus made one more stop, about four blocks later and picked up Phillip, also known as Pip. He's a sweet kid, too sweet almost. He gets himself surrounded by the wrong people sometimes and doesn't like saying no. He's really friendly though and has really nice hair. We hang out sometimes at school, we're not close friends or anything, but we're friends because of convenience. His eyes scanned over the seats before getting to mine and he smiled before walking towards me.

"Hello Butters!" he said cheerily before taking off his over-the-shoulder backpack, sitting down, and setting his bag down next to his Doc Marten clad feet. He then turned to face me, his hazel eyes wide in a way that seemed unnaturally chipper for this hour in the morning. I smiled at him and wished that I looked that happy and excited at 7:40 AM. I took out my headphones and paused the song that was playing before stashing my mp3 player away in the small pocket of my backpack. I adjusted my scarf, pulling it so that it hung uselessly around my chest since the bus had a heater and it felt rather nice in here. I then turned towards Phillip and started chatting with him.

"Hey, are you having a good morning?" I asked him and he nodded his head, smiling largely before filling me in on his breakfast and how his foster parents cooked him homemade pancakes and orange juice. I filled him in on how jealous I was considering I ate a bowl of Frosted Flakes with nearly stale milk. He apologized and I told him he had no reason to. We pulled up to the bus ramp and our bus driver opened the doors, the kids lazily getting up from their seats and walking out. Phillip let the few students who were behind us pass us up before he followed behind. I was the very last person out of the bus, and on my way out I tightened up my scarf again, slinging my bag over my shoulder in a way that allowed me to grab out my mp3 player from the front pocket and plug my headphones in. I restarted the song that was playing before and started walking towards the second entrance of the school, the one that was closest to my locker. Once I got there, I moved to the wall nearest the door before leaning against it and scanning the crowd. I wasn't looking for anyone really, just moving my eyes around so I wasn't just staring at the ground.

My eyes stopped wandering as I watched Tweek and Craig talk. It was a strange way of communication; most of it seemed to be done through flashes of eye contact rather than verbal communication. I watched Tweek as he said a few words to Craig before coughing into his elbow and scrunching up his eyes in a pained way. Craig's hand moved up to Tweek's shoulder and he set it down there, casting him a look before mumbling something. Tweek nodded his head. People were so interesting to watch.

I always have liked the fact that people who just watch learn a lot more about the true identity of somebody's real self rather than somebody who has known them for years. People show their true self only when they think no one is looking. I know certain things about the kids at this school that not many people seem to pick up on. Like the fact that Clyde is in love with Bebe for non-innocent reasons, Token likes Wendy, Wendy likes Stan, Bebe likes Kyle, Kyle's gay, Kenny doesn't actually bone everyone he dates, and Eric's not a sadist. I used to feel kind of creepy when I'd figure out these things about people, like I know something about them that I shouldn't (and I probably really shouldn't know these things), but now I'm used to it. It still shocks me when I learn these things though, like when I found out that Eric's not a sadist.

A year or so ago, when I hated him still, I put two and two together and thought that since he liked pushing me, and everyone else, around he must be getting off to it. Nobody can just do those things just to hurt people. But about two months after I'd come to that conclusion, I overheard Kyle asking Eric why he was such a sadist. I looked up, not really surprised but curious as to what Eric's response would be. What I wasn't expecting was a disgusted look on Eric's face as he told Kyle that he wouldn't get off to shit like that. Kyle had the same idea that I had; it didn't take much thinking to come up to that conclusion, and he started pestering Eric about it. Eric looked down for a moment, his head slowly moving back up as he said that he wasn't as big of a jackass as he used to be. Kyle snorted in disbelief but Kenny piped up, saying that he's really laid off lately. I'm pretty sure Kenny started rambling off some of the shit he'd done, and it was then that I realized most of them were done from when we were both kids. He really had lain off of the heavier stuff. It was on that day that I realized I shouldn't hate him anymore.

I heard the bell ring, I didn't realize I had been zoning out for nearly 30 minutes. I turned off my mp3 player and stored it away again before going inside of the school building to start off another long school day.

The first half of my day went by as uneventful as I was expecting. I was thrilled for the break of the endless amount of work come lunchtime, and went to my usual table happily. There were a few people I vaguely knew who sat there because there wasn't anywhere else to sit, Phillip, myself, and Kevin Stoley with a friend of his I didn't recognize. I said hello to everyone seated there and sat down myself before opening up my sack lunch and eating the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I packed this morning. I scanned the cafeteria, looking at all the faces; similar to what I do nearly every day, and saw that everyone looked the same as always. Well, almost everyone.

Eric Cartman was grinning like a fool, chatting away animatedly to Kenny about who knows what. But whatever he was talking about, he was genuinely thrilled. It was kind of strange to see him like that. Not that Eric was never happy, of course not, just that on most days he wore a bored or annoyed expression. I was sitting at an angle from him so that I saw the profile of his face. He had a big, long nose with a rounded end. It was an attractive nose, I decided. I had one of those short and squishy noses that definitely suited my face, but that doesn't mean I personally like it.

I looked away from Eric before scanning the crowd again; looking at each face I could see carefully before looking at their interactions. I watched as Token's typically calm and collected face contorted to one of brief satisfaction as his eyes trailed over the body that was seated next to him, Wendy, who was flirting with Stan. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at the love-triangle. Wendy should just date Token already, Stan got over his puppy love years ago and isn't going to fall in love with her again any time soon. She's wasting her time. I'm pretty sure Stan already has his eyes set on somebody else anyway.

I continued looking around, watching as Tweek and Craig communicated with their eyes again, their faces turning away slightly as Clyde began talking to Craig. Craig laughed heartily at something Clyde said and Tweek just smiled slightly before he picked up a bag of pretzel sticks and began eating them.

"Hey Butters, what are you looking at?" I heard Phillip say. I tore my eyes away from Craig's table quickly before looking at Phillip to answer his question.

"Nothing really. Just lookin' at people," I responded, before taking out my bag of chips and eating them one by one. He shrugged before continuing to eat his lunch.

A few minutes later I heard the bell ring. I cleaned up my stuff, dumping it into one of the oversized trash bins on my way out before starting the trek upstairs to my science hour. Tomorrow we were presenting a project that we had to do on any genre of science. Our group did nature, or more specifically, habitats. I was dreading this presentation because I was assigned by my other group members to do all of the talking. I stopped stuttering a few years ago, but sometimes it would come back like when I was put under pressure or was stressed about something, or in this case, both.

I walked inside the classroom and sat down at my table. Bebe looked up at me and grinned, her perfect white teeth gleaming despite the slightly dim classroom. It had started snowing outside about two hours ago and hadn't let up since. Sometimes I wondered how girls did it, looking pretty even in situations where it would seem impossible.

"Hey Butters!" she said, her smile fading to a small grin as I said hello back and began talking to her about the presentation tomorrow. I tried telling her that I wouldn't be the best for the job but she was already telling our other group members about the plan before I had the chance to. Once the bell rang to start the class, our science teacher, a pudgy old man with big glasses, told us to begin discussing our presentation. I looked at my group members, two boys I didn't really know too well and Bebe, as we began discussing more of the details of what we were planning on doing.

I zoned out halfway, not really caring too much of what everyone else was going to do, and looked over at what some of the other groups were doing. One table was angrily arguing over who got to do what, another group looked like nobody really cared except for one person, and another was quietly discussing. Eric was in the group that was angrily arguing, he being the one doing most of the arguing. He was standing up, his body leaning forward against the table and his palms flat against it, his face close to Craig's as he yelled at him for something I missed. Craig sat calmly in his seat, his facial expression blank as he said something that made Eric start fuming. I guess I was staring because I saw Eric's eyes flick over to me before squinting his eyes and sitting back down, grumbling about something before pulling out random sheets of paper. Craig grinned before looking over at me, and raising his eyebrows in a manner that asked 'what did you do to make him do that?' I shrugged, noticing how easy it was to read Craig's eyes, and looked back at my table. They were all talking about who did what and I leaned back in my chair, staring at the ceiling.

I thought about everything then. I think a lot. I don't really look like it, but I like to work things through and find out answers, especially when I don't have to do it. Swarms of color and shapes crashed into my brain at the same time, giving me an infinite amount of things to think about. My mind went over and assessed certain things, moving on to making assumptions about various scientific topics that I knew a certain amount of information on. I wish Tweek were in this class. I'd love to ask him about some of this stuff, he always seems to know information on random things. He's endlessly interesting to talk to, and when he didn't talk much in class or when no one said anything to him, if you got him talking he wouldn't shut up. Sometimes he would realize that he was rambling and apologize, not talking much after that, but not always. I like Tweek; he's a good kid with a sharp mind.

I heard my group members finish discussing and Bebe pulled out a short novel and began reading, while the two boys began absently chatting. I looked over at her and asked her what she was reading. She said that it was a romance novel and I listened as she explained the slightly cliché plot. I don't read romance novels very often because they're all about the same. Same plot basically, same outcome, same feeling, everything. They bore me. Sometimes though, I would find a rather interesting romance novel that was unique. And not written by a 40 year old woman who never found love and uses harsh stereotypes for the male in the relationship's personality and actions. Maybe it's because I've never really fallen in love before. Either way, I didn't read romance that often. She finished explaining and continued reading. I continued wading through my thoughts.

My eyes lazily shut closed, colors and shapes forming underneath them. Behind reality, in the realm of possibility and adventure waited a sea of vivid colors and intricate patterns. It wasn't a real sea though; the color of it wasn't blue but lavender, the animals and fish were neon colors and the sky was light yellow. I paddled through the ocean with a simple wooden row in small rowboat as I stared at all the creatures in the sea as they raced past, their stunning colors blurring with their speed. My eyes looked up into the sky, the pale yellow soothing compared to the headache of colors below me. The sky shifted from the relaxing shade to deep black. It seemed endless, the black so dark it engulfed me. My whole body felt cold, but a cold that seeped straight into my mind rather than just chilling the surface of my skin. My head hurt. I looked around me, the stars shining hot yellow and white as they raced by me. I was moving. I was moving so fast. My arms thrusted backwards as they propelled me forward more. I was moving on my own. My legs were floating but I could move on my own will. I continued moving forwards, my body going faster and faster still as I seemed to being headed for somewhere. Where that somewhere is, I don't know. I kept moving. My body was aching. Why is it so cold in space? A huge red and yellow object was drawing nearer. I seemed to be headed towards the sun. I kept moving and moving, never stopping. The immense heat swallowed my entire body as I finally reached my destination. It took away all the cold.

My eyes snapped open as I heard the bell rudely interrupt my daydreams. Bebe walked up to me, smiling before shifting her books to her other arm.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked me, looking curious. I felt my cheeks warm up. I must've looked really stupid just sitting there with my eyes closed.

"Uh, I was just thinking about how nice it would be if it was hot outside for once," I said, picking up my backpack and slinging it over my shoulder before waving one arm back at Bebe who was still in the classroom. I continued walking over to my next class, hoping that this one would go by fast.

The rest of my day went by full of work and a pile of homework was left to remind us that more was to come. I walked out of my last class, into the cold and clear air. It had temporarily stopped snowing. I started the trip to the bus slowly since I had a good amount of time before it left. I noticed Eric was walking in my direction and caught his eye accidently. I smiled a bit, my lips were chapped from the cold so it kind of hurt but he did something that surprised me. He smiled back. It was a brief smile, a quick upturn of his lips as if he didn't want to smile at all but did anyway. But I knew he wouldn't do anything he didn't want to do if he didn't have to. He could've just looked away. I looked at him questioningly, hoping that my eyes properly portrayed that. He shrugged his shoulders and then started walking up the stairs into the bus. I got inside after him and sat down at the seat I was sitting at on my way to school earlier. Pip sat at the front of the bus this time, chatting with someone next to him. The weirdest thing about that little grin of his though was the look he gave me when he was doing it. His calm, gold-brown eyes spoke of confusion also. As if he didn't know why he smiled either.

End Note

_Ugh sorry. I actually started writing this about two weeks ago ha-ha. But don't worry! I plan on updating about every week now that I've got the ball rolling. I plan on making this multi chaptered, and if the parts that I really want to write don't play in then I might make a few one-shots posted here too. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and if so then please leave me a comment! I deleted this story once before, and then I edited it up a few days later and reposted it, so it should flow smoother and have fewer mistakes. I'm so sorry about that I wrote most of this at a very late hour. I don't plan on making end notes really either, I feel like it ruins the moment! But I felt like I should say this. Thank you a lot I appreciate your reading of this story thus far and I hope you continue! _


	2. Life Lesson Two

**Life Lesson Two: Being nice to that lonely kid isn't that bad**

Cartman

I've been acting weird recently. I don't know why I've been thinking these things, but I have been. I don't know why I've been acting like this, but I am. It's weird. I usually know exactly what I'm doing and know exactly why I'm doing them. Whether the reasons are good or bad. This situation has been troubling to me though. I did something friendly to someone I've never liked and I didn't have to. I did it because I _wanted_ to. Why did I want to do that? I smiled at Butters. _Butters. _The kid who doesn't have any friends and let me walk all over him! I mean he always smiles at me every day, sometimes more than once. Hell, he'll smile at anyone who looks at him! I mean, nobody really looks at him often though; he blends in with the rest of the students decently enough not to be noticed. Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like, to be practically unseen while surrounded by people. I was always noticed, even after I lost a lot of weight people still stared at me. I got used to it though. It never has bothered me, at least not really. Some days though I just want to fade away and be unnoticed for once, just be a regular kid. I guess that's what it's like being Butters. But back to what I was thinking, why did I do that? I just saw his soft little smile and felt like I needed to respond back. Maybe I'm thinking into this too much.

I looked behind me into the full school bus, at all the kids as they talked to their neighbors and friends. I looked over at Butters, who was sitting alone in a seat near the back. He was staring out of the window, his headphones plugged in. He looked lonely. I turned back around in my seat, looking over at Kyle and Stan who were in the seat next to Kenny and mine. Kyle looked annoyed and slightly embarrassed, while Stan asked him something that I couldn't hear. I looked back at Kenny, who was quietly sitting next to me. He was staring upwards at the head of the person who was sitting in front of us detachedly. It looked like he wasn't really looking at the person, but just staring off into space. I wouldn't bother him then. I pulled out my bag before I began working on my homework.

"He's staring at you."

I stopped writing, turning my head to look over at Kenny who was still looking zoned out.

"What did you just say?" I asked him, confused and thinking that I might have been hearing things.

"I said he's staring at you," Kenny said again, this time turning his head to look at me. What the hell is talking about?

"Who's staring at me?" I asked.

"Butters."

I looked behind me, seeing his big blue eyes looking right at me. He then blinked a few times before looking away. Was he just accidently staring at me or was he doing it on purpose?

"He was staring at you. He wasn't just looking into the distance," Kenny said, his head moving back to look at the ceiling.

"How do you know? I didn't see you move your head to look at him to confirm this," I said. It's like knows everything about the people in this town and how they act. He probably _does_ too.

"I just know people," he said, not moving a single part of him but his mouth as he continued looking into nothingness. I will never fully understand him. Something about him is so much different from every other person I know. He has this sort of mature and knowing aura about him that sets him apart from all the other kids at this school. I guess that's why he's my best friend.

Oh yeah, today's Friday. Why am I doing my homework right now again? I have all weekend to do this shit. I put my homework back into my bag before leaning back against my seat, lazily trying to come up with something interesting to think about. Let's see… what am I doing with my life as of right now? Oh yeah. Nothing. Just being a dead-end kid who hangs out with his other dead-end friends. Ah, fun. The life of a kid these days is full of excitement and wonder. I'm hanging out with Kenny tomorrow and maybe we'll do something more interesting than play video games like we usually do. I flopped my head to stare at Kenny's shoulder. Who am I kidding anyway, we never do jack shit. And by 'who' I mean myself because right now I am just thinking also I am really stupid? I groaned and closed my eyes. Tonight was going to be a long night.

I rolled over on my bed once, twice, three times and then I fell over the edge. My stomach smacked against the plush carpet with a muffled thud and I flipped over onto my back. My eyes cracked open, staring at the bright ceiling. Why is the ceiling so bright it's only like 9 AM. I grabbed my phone, which was conveniently located on the floor after I got pissed at it last night and threw it down there, and pressed a button so I could see the time. 1:42 PM. I slowly stood up and stretched my arms over my head, letting out a little moan as I heard my back pop. I then took off the shirt I had been wearing since yesterday and replaced it with a slightly cleaner one before slipping on a pair of Vans. I was still wearing the jeans I had on yesterday and didn't care that they were pretty wrinkly and smelly, mainly because it's just Kenny and he has no room to give a shit anyway. I reached down and grabbed my phone before slipping into my pocket and then walked out of my bedroom door into the bathroom. I exited the said restroom before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a jacket and my car keys and yelling into the hallway to Mom that I was leaving to go to Kenny's. I don't know if she said okay or not but I told Kenny I'd be at his house by 1:30.

I got to Kenny's house to find the front door wide open. I walked inside the house before making my over to where I knew his room was. God damn it his house is freezing. It's like the same temperature as it is outside. I opened up Kenny's room to find him sprawled out over his sheets nearly naked save for a pair of black boxers. I walked towards him and pushed him over, watching his form move slightly over as he mumbled something that may or may not have included him calling me 'Ma.'

"Kenny wake up you piece of trash it's 2 PM," I said, punctuating my sentence with another shove to Kenny. He woke up, I think, and started grumbling. He then sat up and opened his eyes. I think he finally understood that it was actually _me _and not one of his family members and he smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry dude, I forgot you were comin' to pick me up at 1:30 until just now," he said and stood up, walking over to a pile of clothes near his bed and taking off a shirt and a pair of pants from near the top. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, you remember when I come to your house and shake you awake," I mumbled, not really caring that much that he was still sleeping but still feeling the need to say something about it. He finished putting on his clothes and shoes and then he grabbed an orange hoodie that was similar to the jacket he had when we were kids except it didn't have the mouth cover. So he stapled a bit of an orange bandana into where the mouth cover would go three years ago when he got a new jacket. He really needs to get someone to actually sew it in there because the staples are coming undone and they've cut into his face before. He left the jacket unzipped and then walked up to me, smiling a grin that showed off all his yellow-white teeth.

"So what are we gonna do today?" he asked me. I shrugged my shoulders. I hadn't thought of that.

"Let's go to my car and think about it there. It's ape-shit freezing in your house, man," I said and started walking towards my car, with Kenny right behind me. We got into my car, me cranking up the heat to full blast as I felt the hot air blow straight into my face. I sighed happily and looked over at Kenny whose face was right up on the air vent with his eyes shut. I almost laughed at how happy he looked to have something as simple as warm air. He didn't move so I decided to bring something up first.

"We could go down to the pond. Or go to the mall," I said, gazing at my dashboard and checking to make sure I had enough gas to take us around for the rest of the day.

"No man, it's way too cold to go to the pond at this time of year. And I don't have enough cash to pay for anything at the mall. Let's just go to Starbucks or something," he said, his face never moving from its position in front of the air vent. I hit the gas and started moving forward, towards the direction of our local Starbucks.

We got there a few minutes later, I parked the car in the parking lot and we started walking towards the entrance quickly to avoid the cold air. We walked into the warm oasis of coffee-smelling air and the ever-steady heaters that gave the little place a cozy feel that was very welcoming compared to the cold January air outside. Kenny plopped down into one of the big chairs and leaned back, closing his eyes and most likely just listening to the slow music that was playing from the speakers. I walked to the register and ordered two coffees, one vanilla latte for Kenny and a dry, plain old coffee for myself from Tweek. He started working there earlier this year, from a bit of a rebellious streak that made him quit working at his dad's coffee shop and work at a name brand shop instead. The one thing I hate about ordering from Starbucks is that I have to say my first name for the barista to write down on the cup. I always feel uncomfortable when someone calls me by my first name that isn't a figure of authority or Butters. I really just got used to Butters calling me Eric because he's known me since we were little kids and before I decided that I hated my name and would rather be called Cartman. I just got used to it, I guess. I sat down next to a big chair next to Kenny and waited for our coffees to be ready.

Tweek called out 'Eric and Kenny' and I stood up and grabbed our coffees. I handed Kenny his and he started slowly sipping on it. I did the same and gazed up at the ceiling before I started absently chatting to Kenny about the loads of homework we had been assigned over the weekend. He agreed with me, stating that, quote, "there is no way in motherfuckin' Hell that I am goin' to do all this shit." I laughed and then looked around, noticing a few classmates tapping away on their laptops or doing some unfinished homework. One struck me though. Butters Stotch was sitting down at a two-seater table that was against the window on the other side of the coffee shop. He looked serious, his laptop was open and he had a few papers surrounding him that were taking up the entirety of the table. He had his headphones plugged in again.

"Go talk to him," Kenny said, his face close to the cup as he took another sip. I looked at him confusedly.

"Why would I do that?" I asked while looking back at Butters who was staring out of the window seeming so lonely it almost hurt to look at him.

"How about you invite him to hang out with us today too. He's a sweet kid," Kenny said, setting down his cup and scooting in his seat so that he now sat upright.

"Why don't you ask him?" I said. He was the one who was so persistent about all of this, why won't he just do this himself.

"Because he'll say yes to me out of generosity but he'll say yes to you out of genuine reasons," he said, grinning. "I'll come too if that makes you feel any better," he added. I snorted at the last part and thought this over some. Yeah, he's a spineless Melvin but if he does anything too bad when can tell him to go home and he won't think anything of it. He'll probably blame himself. And, although I will die before I admit to thinking this, it's really sad to see a kid who can be so happy look so lonely all the time. I think it would do him good to hang out with somebody, even if only for a short time. God I am going soft. If this situation came up 3 years ago I would laugh and say "No fucking way." I wouldn't have even thought about it. And I'm bored and this could be interesting.

"Yeah whatever," I say, looking over at Kenny before seeing him smile slightly and stand up. I stood up also, and we began walking towards Butters.

Butters

All right, almost finished with the essay I have to do for English. That woman is evil. She makes our class do a 2000 word essay every two weeks. It's not that bad at first, but sometimes when you have 10 pages of math homework, a huge test in science to study for, and a few sheets for history class to do for the next day, a 2000 word essay is the last thing you need. I'm sure it's a lot worse for someone who values social life as well though. I was typing my conclusion sentence when I saw a hand rest on one of my sheets, it was a rather large hand at that, and I looked up to see who it was. I was expecting an annoyed student who was trying to work as well and was complaining about the volume of my music or something. I definitely wasn't expecting Eric Cartman leaning on my table with Kenny McCormick next to him. Kenny grinned at me, his tan face stretching to expose smile wrinkles that had already formed. Eric shrugged and half-smiled. What are they doing? I took off my headphones and timidly smiled.

"Hey fellas, what's got you guys comin' over to me?" I asked, looking first at Kenny since he looked a lot nicer than Eric and more enthusiastic.

"Just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with little ole Cartman and I. It's awful boring just the two of us," he said, smiling a big smile that radiated sincerity. I looked over at Eric and he looked pretty bored but not annoyed. I still had the rest of the day and tomorrow to do my homework so I might as well do some socializing.

"W-Well sure, that would be great! What time?" I asked, inwardly cringing at the little stutter at the beginning. Kenny laughed and tilted his head to the side.

"Right now! Put your sheets and laptop up and let's go!" Kenny said, his grin never fading. Wow, right now? Well, okay then.

"Alright, could you two wait for me for a second while I do this?" I asked while closing up my laptop and placing it into the bag I had brought with me as well as my sheets. Kenny said that he would and I picked up my bag and stood up, looking over at the two boys curiously as we stood nearly silently except for the music that was endlessly emanating from the speakers.

"Okay, so what are we goin' to do now?" I asked, hoping that I didn't sound rude. Kenny shrugged his shoulders, looking over at Eric as if to ask him something. Eric looked up, his eyes meeting Kenny's for a second as he let out a little sigh and started walking away.

"Let's just go to my place and we can play video games or something," he said when he was about two feet away from Kenny and I.

"Is that cool with you?" Kenny asked me, and I nodded my head a bit too fast.

"Of course, I don't really mind doing anythin'," I said, smiling back as Kenny grinned at me.

"Awesome," he said and started walking towards the door where Eric had just left from. Kenny started aimlessly chatting to me, first saying how him and Eric usually just played video games every weekend. I asked him if I was intruding on them and he responded that it wasn't really that special or anything and that they only played video games because they didn't have anything better to do. He also told me not to take anything that Eric said personally and that if he insulted me than he probably didn't mean it. I nodded even though I already knew this information. I'm pretty sure Kenny was aware that I knew this about Eric when he told me too. He had this look on his face that was bored and knowing, a look that expressed that it was old news and I probably had already known. Kenny is a very interesting person indeed.

Kenny led us to a silver mini-van with tinted windows. He got into the back seat and scooted down to the seat furthest away and I got into the one nearest me and closed the door. I wonder why Kenny sat in the back, was it so I wouldn't be by myself back here? If that's the case, than he's a really kind person. Eric started up the car, the heat slowly crawling into the back seat and warming Kenny and I up. The radio started playing a rap song that was mainly consumed by the steady bass and less by the deep-voiced singer. Eric made no move to change the station and Kenny was singing along with the rapper. I don't really mind rap that much, I used to hate it because a lot of the lyrics were mainly swear words and sexual references but now I'm used to it and kinda like it. Eric drove for a few minutes until he pulled up to his house and turned the car off. Kenny and Eric got out of the car so I followed along, stepping out of the car with my bag onto the cold, paved driveway and started following after Kenny and Eric as they walked towards the front door.

"I think Mom's still home," Eric said, pulling out a key from his back pocket and unlocking the front door.

"Awesome, I love your mom," Kenny said, smiling. "She always makes me cookies," he added, gazing off into the distance and most likely fantasizing about the alleged cookies. Eric snorted and opened up the door and walked inside. He stood next to the door, holding it open for Kenny and I.

"Ladies first," he said, and Kenny curtsied before strutting through the doorway.

"Thank you, fine gentleman," he said before walking towards an unknown area inside Eric's house. I walked inside after him, quietly thanking Eric as he shut the door behind me and locked it up again. I walked in the direction that I saw Kenny go and found him raiding the refrigerator in Eric's kitchen. He pulled out a container of luncheon meat and began eating it by itself. He then swallowed his bite.

"Hey do you want something to eat?" he asked me and I shook my head 'no.' I had already eaten lunch at an earlier hour. He then asked me if I wanted a drink and I told him that water was okay. He then tossed me a water bottle and luckily I caught it. Eric was standing in the doorway as he watched our brief interaction and afterwards he started walking towards the cabinets and pulled out a bag of chips. He then looked over at Kenny and walked out the door. I guess I really did invade on their time together. Gosh, now I feel kind of guilty.

"I'm sorry, I really am a nuisance aren't I? I can go home now, my house isn't far from here," I said, rubbing my right arm with my left hand nervously. Kenny smiled softly, his eyes full of warmth as he told me that I had no reason to worry about it and that I should just have a good time. I nodded and followed him as he left the room. We walked up a flight of stairs into a small bedroom that had Eric inside, messing with a flat screen television and a Play Station 3. I stepped inside the room after Kenny and sat down on the floor next to him. He began talking to me about the game that they had set up, some two-player war/fighting game of some sort that I knew I would be horrible at. Kenny passed the controller to me and I looked at him horrified. I don't want to mess up something or be really bad and make them redo the level! I think Kenny got the message and he laughed before telling me that it's no big deal if I'm not very good at first since they're doing some of the earlier levels. Okay, I feel a bit better now. Kenny stood up and walked to the other side of me, sitting down and telling me to scoot over so the controller would work right. I did so and found myself about four inches from Eric. He got the game started and I started aimlessly pressing buttons until Eric got the picture and told me what all the controls did without pausing or moving his eyes away from the game.

"Could you repeat that?" I asked him, nervously looking over at him as he paused the game and reached his hand over, pressing his fingers over some of the keys on my controller and repeating what they did, slower this time. I was only slightly distracted by his big hands and when his thumb pressed against mine as he explained what the arrow keys did. His hands are so warm. He paused in the middle of his explanation and continued looking down at our hands. He then picked right back up and finished with a fast tone before taking his hands off mine and taking the game off pause.

I then had a better idea of how the game worked and played around until Kenny complained that he wanted to play a new level. I gladly allowed him to take over and sat next to him for another hour or so, content on just watching their great dynamic and strategy as they played the game with vigor. I think they may've even forgotten I was there, since when they finished the level, Kenny looked a little bit surprised when he looked to his right and saw me sitting there.

"Hey do you want me to drive you home?" Eric asked, looking over at me from next to Kenny. I shrugged my shoulders in a way that I hoped looked neither that I wanted to stay nor that I wanted to leave desperately. Kenny leaned back onto the foot of Eric's bed and smiled contentedly.

"I'm just gonna stay here while you drive him home. Your house is really nice so I'll just stay the night as well," Kenny said. Eric laughed slightly and looked over at me.

"Alright let's go then," he said and I stood up, straightening my jacket that I had unzipped sometime when they were playing video games and grabbed my bag from Starbucks. I then started walking towards the door behind Eric. When we got to the hallway, we walked side by side.

We got into his car and he started driving, his radio still tuned into the station that it was on earlier. We drove in silence until we got to my house and he turned of the car, turning in his seat to look at me.

"Thanks for letting me come to your house today, I had a lot of fun," I said truthfully, smiling up at Eric in a way that I hoped portrayed my sincerity. He didn't smile with his mouth, but his eyes showed a kindness that I hadn't seen there before.

"It wasn't my idea, thank Kenny instead. I'll see you in school alright?" he said, his eyes locking with mine for a small moment as I nodded my head and opened up the door, grabbing my bag and walking outside towards my front door. As I got to the door, I waved at Eric who was driving out of my driveway with a big grin on my face and watched as he smiled slightly himself before driving away.


	3. Life Lesson Three

**Life Lesson Three: A lot can happen when you shut your eyes**

Butters

I woke up that morning with a seriously painful crick in my back. It wasn't until I noticed that it was pitch black outside that I realized that I had fallen asleep right when I had gotten home yesterday. I guess that explains why I just woke up, considering how it's around 2 AM. I closed my eyes again, pushing my face against my pillow and began thinking about everything that happened yesterday. I was so overwhelmed by everything when it was happening, even though I didn't realize it. I spent all this time together with a boy I don't know anymore and his friend that I haven't talked to in years. Why did I say yes to them? Not that I regret my choice, not at all, I just want to know what compelled me to hang out with these people that I hardly know.

I also want to know why it came so easily to me, why my body seemed to think that this was a natural thing that I always did. I barely thought about anything when I was there. I'm usually thinking all the time, about everything. But when I was at his house my mind was so calm, content. I couldn't think about anything when I was there. I didn't notice this either. I'm usually so self-aware! I know exactly what I'm doing and know everything that's going on around me! God, I don't even know anymore. This situation is starting to make me a bit worried. I took a deep breath and started to think about something a bit different.

Why did Eric smile at me like that when he left? Why did I smile like that when he left? I bet I looked so stupid, smiling like a fool when all he did was allow me into his house. Jesus he probably thinks I'm a massive Melvin. I bet he _already_ thought that of me too. Ha-ha. This is why I don't have any friends! Not that I mind really, but people just have this look on their face when they see me. Like they pity me because I'm lonely. I don't understand that word. Lonely, I mean. I've never felt it before; I've never thought it was an actual thing. How could you possibly feel any of the emotions that come with loneliness? I don't understand.

I sighed and opened my eyes. There's no way I'm going to be able to fall asleep again tonight.

Cartman

Light seeped into my eyes, the brightness burned like fire as it hit me. God I hate mornings. There is nothing worse than Sunday morning when you wake up with that overwhelming feeling of school being tomorrow. Ugh. I shut my eyes, willing away the morning with all my will. It didn't work. Luckily though, I have all day to sleep and laze about instead of school. I rolled over onto my stomach and started to think. My mind immediately stopped at yesterday afternoon. Oh God. Yesterday was so weird. I hung out with Butters. And it wasn't that bad. He's actually kind of cool but oh sweet Jesus I am actually thinking that. His smiles were so sweet though, as if they were glazed with sugar. Ugh that was gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Super gay. I pressed my face hard into my pillow. It's way too early in the morning for me to being having thoughts like this. I decided to go back to sleep. And I did.

Butters

I let the thoughts devour me. Some of the thoughts were horribly miniscule, others were large and crazy that make me feel so unimportant and small in such a large universe. Thinking about how unimportant I am in this _town,_ let alone this world depresses me occasionally. Especially since the world is so small compared to Saturn, and Saturn isn't anything compared to the Sun, and the sun isn't anything compared to the biggest object in the universe, which is a black hole the size of 50 billion suns. I felt depressed again. I sighed and decided to get that thought out of my mind and stood up and walked towards the kitchen to go eat some frozen waffles or something. Mom and Dad haven't woken up yet, and I guess I'm grateful for that. I'm sure they would be questioning me about why I came home so late yesterday and I don't feel like talking to anyone right now considering how I just got out of bed. I put the waffles in the toaster and stood next to the counter and waited for them to be ready. My mind started swimming with foggy fantasies, most including some of the most unknown things of this universe, like the deep seas and space. I heard my waffles pop out and then started eating them, my fingers turning pink from the hot food between them. I didn't bother with a plate or syrup and began walking back up to my room to finish doing my homework.

Cartman

I opened my eyes again at what was probably around 10:30 and it was then that I remembered that Kenny had stayed the night last night. Images popped back in my mind from last night that included us playing video games and various food items that had been consumed. I heard waking around coming from downstairs and sniffed the air, hoping I could smell pancakes or omelets cooking. Omelets. I sat up in bed before rubbing my eyes and then stepping down onto the floor. I began walking downstairs and then into the kitchen to see Mom cooking omelets and Kenny standing up next to her and eating one already prepared. Kenny smiled at me.

"Good morning, sunshine," he said before shoving another forkful of food into his mouth. Mom turned around and smiled at me before going back to cooking.

"I'm making you an omelet right now, honey, just wait for a minute." I nodded my head and took a few steps towards Kenny before chatting to him about how much longer he thought it would take us to defeat the level we were on. I was presented my omelet and began eating away at it slowly, still pretty full from last night but I couldn't turn down food. Especially when it was made for me. Kenny and I chatted for a bit, Mom walked out after a while saying that she was going grocery shopping. Kenny grinned at me as Mom shut the door and left.

"What?" I asked, curious as to why he was looking at me like that. Honestly, it's rather scary. He shrugged and then looked away before placing his empty plate into the sink. He then walked back towards me.

"Hey you 'member how yesterday we hung out with Butters?" he asked me, before looking away in mock aloofness. I snorted and ate another bite of omelet before answering him.

"Yeah, why?" I said back, getting more and more curious about what he was getting at.

"Well, I was wonderin' if you wanted to invite him to hang out again next weekend. He's alone a lot, I really think that it would do him good to be social and hang out with some nice people," he said back and I stood silent for a minute. I was thinking the same thing about him yesterday, I bet Kenny knew that too. That's probably why he worded it like he did. I guess it wouldn't hurt. He wasn't all that bad yesterday although he's a little bit _too_ nice. He'd be an easy person to manipulate and Jesus Christ I thought I told myself I wasn't going to be that kind of person anymore! I sighed and then realized that I still hadn't replied to Kenny's question.

"Yeah sure. After school on Friday he can hang out with us or something. He's not staying the night though," I said, looking over at Kenny as he smiled largely and had a knowing look in his eyes. God I swear, how does he always know what will happen and what I'll say? He looked over at the clock on the oven before cursing.

"We're goin' to Stan's at 11, okay?" he said and I looked at him angrily.

"Oh thanks for informing me sooner, Ken," I said and he looked at me sheepishly.

"Sorry, man. I was goin' to tell you yesterday but then Butters came and I just forgot after that," he said and I let out a sigh.

"Sure whatever. How long are we staying there?" I asked, and Kenny shrugged. Fabulous. I should tell Mom though. I started walking upstairs and then grabbed my phone off my dresser and texted her that I was going to Stan's. Kenny had followed me upstairs and was putting on the clothes he was wearing yesterday. I changed also, and then I checked my phone for the time. 10:58.

"Alright, let's go."

We reached Stan's house at 11:03 and I noticed that Kyle's car was parked outside also. Over time, I stopped hating him for his religion after I realized that it didn't really do anything for me and that he's not going to change at all from something I did. It also made hanging out with all of us uncomfortable at times, and it was rather unnecessary. We're not really friends, but we know practically everything about each other and hang out (with Stan and Kenny there too) pretty often. Kenny and I walked into Stan's house and saw him and Kyle sitting on the sofa in the living room watching TV. Stan smiled and waved at us as we took our seats next to them, Kenny on the edge next to Kyle and I on the other edge next to Stan.

"Okay so what are we fixin' to do?" Kenny asked, resting his elbow on Kyle's shoulder and then leaning his chin on his arm. Stan shrugged and leaned back against the couch. I looked over at Kyle who looked slightly uncomfortable with Kenny leaning all up against him, his whole face was pink and he was biting the inside of his cheek. Kenny noticed this and moved his arm to wrap them both around Kyle's neck as he pressed his face into his hair. Kyle then turned red, one hand of his moving up to cup his mouth as he then squirmed against him.

"God, Kenny that's gay cut it out," Kyle said after a few seconds of squirming. Kenny then removed his arms but made sure to obviously sniff Kyle's hair before completely removing himself from him. Kyle then straightened his back but his face remained red for several seconds even after things had gotten back to normal. Well, okay then; totally normal behavior there. I feel like there's something between them that isn't just friendly. I looked over at Stan and saw that he was just staring at the ceiling, his eyes looking distant like he was thinking about something that didn't include the scene that just happened and how gay it was. He probably didn't even notice it happened.

"Hey who are you dating right now?" I asked Stan and he blinked his eyes a few times before looking over at me a bit shocked.

"Nobody, why?" he asked before I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, so then who do you like right now?" I asked.

"Where did this come from?"

"You're avoiding my question, although I did notice you daydreaming over there, little Romeo. Don't try to tell me that you weren't thinking of some hot babe," I said as I watched his cheeks go pink.

"Red, I like Red," he said and I laughed a bit. That girl is so _boring_. I always knew that Stan had a poor taste in ladies, but _Red? _At least Wendy was interesting and fun to argue with. Ah, whatever. He'll get over in a few months anyway.

"Okay seriously. What are we goin' to do?" Kenny asked again, this time keeping his hands completely off of Kyle. Everyone was quiet for a few seconds, the only sound coming from the ignored TV.

"We could go to the park," Kyle suggested, looking over at Stan for approval.

"Let's just stay inside and save all the outdoor activities for when the weather is above 60," Stan said, scratching the back of his neck and then looking over at me as if I had all the answers.

"I suggest the same thing every time," I said, licking my teeth before leaning my elbows against my knees. My hair got in my eyes a bit but I ignored it.

"Okay so video games it is," said Stan as he stood up and changed the input of the TV and turned on his XBOX 360.

"Hey do you have hot chocolate?" Kenny asked, happily looking over at Stan.

"Yeah, do you want to make some?" he responded over his shoulder. Kenny jumped off the couch and started walking towards the kitchen, shouting a "hell yeah" over his shoulder. I guffawed and then smiled. God, hot chocolate sounds really good right now. Leave it to Kenny to think of the perfect thing.

We played video games for a few hours, and then it dawned on all of us that we all happened to have a shit-ton of homework and that today was our last day to it. I dropped Kenny off at his house and then made my way home. Once there, I said hi to Mom and then started working on my homework. I didn't complete all of it, only the most important assignments and decided that was good enough, ate dinner, and went to bed.

Butters

Today went by exceptionally boring. I completed all of my homework, and by the time I finished it was around 11 AM. I still had all day to do nothing. I watched TV, ate lunch and then dinner, watched dumb YouTube videos, and was bored throughout all of it. Even though it happened once, I already miss hanging out with Kenny and Eric. They were actually really great company, and are sweet boys. I changed into a pair of pajama pants and crawled into bed, my head coming up with ridiculous fantasies and strange situations.

My mind felt heavy. I began walking through a field of flowers, most of them were black daisies and the grass was blue. It looked so strange, like the grass was really water. Then the grass was water, it went from a solid to a liquid in a matter of seconds. The daises still grew on the surface though, and it was strange to watch. I looked around for a boat or something but there was nothing there. I began swimming and hoped that the water would change back into grass so I could walk. I saw another figure gracefully swimming through the water about a mile away from me. His strides were long and powerful, but I never saw his face once. As he got nearer to me, the water suddenly changed back into grass and I could walk again. I started running hard, my hair being blown by the light breeze as I started getting closer and closer to the man I saw swimming. He was running as well, his steps long and powerful like his swimming. When I got close enough to him so that I could see the whites of his eyes, I realized who it was. Eric. He gripped my hand and changed direction, running in the same direction he came from. We must've run for hours, but his hand never got sweaty. We eventually came upon a large area with glossy wooden floors and beautiful lights. The sky went dark and he pulled me closer to him, one arm around my waist and the other wrapped around my wrist still. We began waltzing, our bodies fit together perfectly as slow music began coming from nowhere. He was singing, I noticed. It wasn't in English, but French. He then leaned his head down and whispered slowly and deeply the one saying I knew.

"_Je t'aime"_


	4. Life Lesson Four

_Sorry for the delay, some things came up and I didn't have any time to write! _

**Life Lesson Four: Some people just need to be appreciated more**

Kenny

I leaned back against my old, smelly sheets. My eyes closed and I began to think about things. What was strange about everything going on was that I didn't ever expect this to happen. I didn't think anyone would ever fall for me. But lo and behold, all signs pointed directly at that only option. I gritted my teeth and rested my chin against my hands. He wasn't supposed to like someone like me, he should find himself a good man who could support him and treat him like he deserves to be treated. He's too good for white trash like me. He shouldn't express his feelings so openly like that, he just showed it to the world yesterday that he was obviously attracted to me when he blushed like that. His heart was beating so fast. I sighed and laid down. Now everyone else will know that he's stupid and has bad taste in men. But everyone already knows he's gay, at least Cartman and Stan.

Ooh yeah. Cartman's also gay, right? Yeah he had gay porn saved on a flash drive he had lent me a few years ago. I would never tell him that I knew that though, God he would punch me. Oh yeah, and there's definitely something between him and Butters. I've never seen Cartman look so gently at another human being before. They would be nice together, wouldn't they? Yeah. I like Butters; he's a smart kid. He notices the same things I notice about people. That may be way others interpret his actions and way of life in a false way. He isn't a lonely fellow, but he does spend a lot of time with only the company of himself. He may look like he just wants to blend into the shadows, but he also wants to be noticed by certain people. He doesn't have any real friends, but he never knew what he was missing so he didn't mind at all. I know that he watches people too, he must know quite a lot about the people that go to this school. He probably knows things about me that others don't catch. Like maybe that I'm not a whore and that I value sex more than anybody else at this whole school, or that I don't enjoy being talked trash about. Ah, there's no winning in this dirty world, is there? Maybe one day I'll just wake up from this cruel, cruel nightmare.

Butters

I was startled awake as I stared at my ceiling as though it were a foreign object. What on Earth was that? I've never had a dream where there was another person there with me; it was strange but breathtaking at the same time. The colors were richer and brighter but the dream itself was certainly stranger then I knew I could come up with. My face slowly started heating up as I remembered the last part of my dream, when Eric told me that he loved me. I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment. How will I look at him the same way on Monday? Oh gosh it _is_ Monday! I scrambled to find my alarm clock, my hands groping around on my bedside table trying to find the rectangular object. I found it after a few short seconds and pressed a button, making the numbers light up. 3:02. I sighed in relief and plopped back down onto my bed. I still have time until I have to get ready.

I closed my eyes again and thought back onto that strange dream. What compelled me to have thoughts like that about Eric? I don't have a crush on him or anything, I'm pretty sure at least. I mean he has beautiful eyes and a handsome smile, not to mention that he's pretty good in school and is nice enough to invite me to his house but I… don't… like him… or anything… I blushed again, and pressed my face into my pillow rather hard. This is embarrassing. I'm not gay either. I mean, not that I have anything against homosexuals or anything like that, it's just that I personally do not like boys nor do I think of them in a sexual way. I took a deep breath and decided to clear my mind. If I do that, then I'll realize that I have no reason to be attracted to Eric. Even though I did hear from somewhere that dreams are a window to your unconsciousness, so you may be wishing to do some things but not even know it yet. I shook my head. No, wrong mindset. I shouldn't be thinking like that. I closed my eyes and started thinking of various things, my mind trying to wander from the previous subject but failing. It came back to that one scene at the end of my dream over, and over, and over, and over. It became so repetitive. I was suddenly glad that nobody could see what I was thinking or anything, because they would get bored real fast of seeing that same scene over and over. I then forced my mind to settle on a calm ocean scene, in a coral reef with brightly colored fish swimming slowly in the bright blue water. I felt my breathing slow down and hoped that I could fall back asleep again.

Cartman

Morning came like death; unwanted and unavoidable. I groaned. I do not want to go to school at all. I whimpered and stared at the backs of my eyelids, telling myself that it wasn't Monday like a 10 year old. I eventually opened my eyes, staring dazedly at the alarm clock and making a long groan emit from my chest as I grudgingly crawled out of bed and began my morning routine. 20 minutes later I begin walking towards the bus stop. I saw the ever-present Butters standing where he always stands and timidly begin walking towards him. Why am I suddenly nervous about seeing him? I took a breath of air and laid my hand on his shoulder, removing it quickly when I watched his body jolt. He then looked over at me, surprised. My hands went clammy and I smiled slightly as his eyes lit up when he realized it was I. He then looked down and his cheeks began turning a deep, rosy red. Oh God this is not helping anything at all. He then looked back up at me and removed his headphones before coughing into his fist.

"Good mornin' Eric," he said, a smile illuminating his gentle face. He was so sincere, so whole-heartedly kind. I couldn't help but smile back at him, knowing fully that my smile didn't look nearly as nice as his.

"Good morning to you too Butters," I said back, my eyes staying on his for a moment longer as we stood in an enveloping silence that seemed to make the air thick and sticky around us. I then nodded in a way that I hope didn't look too horribly awkward and turned to face the street. What are we supposed to say to each other? I hardly know a thing about him anymore, it's not like we could just start talking again like good buddies after hardly speaking for years. Luckily, the bus arrived at that moment, sweetly cutting any awkward tension right away with its convenience. We silently boarded the bus and sat inside, me sitting in my usual seat next to Kenny. Occasionally, Kenny has days where he just sleeps through the entire bus ride. Today was one of those days. I guess I'm riding in silence. Sometimes I think he's fully aware of his surroundings when he's sleeping also, since he'll wake up and act like he was never asleep in the first place. Or he'll be completely out of it and not know what's going on at all. I turned around as discreetly as I possibly could and looked over at Butters who was rummaging through his bag. He looked up and me with his serene blue eyes and smiled slightly before moving his eyes back to his bag and continuing his search for something unknown. I turned back in my seat and furrowed my eyebrows in embarrassment. How did he know I was looking at him? Maybe he's one of those super-aware people like Kenny. I mentally shrugged it off and began thinking about stupid things until we reached the school.

Butters

I began searching through my bag, trying to find my math sheets so I could study for the test today when I felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked up and met crisp amber eyes with my own. I felt my lips turn up a bit at the corners unconsciously and I then continued to search for my sheets. I sighed and realized that I must've left them in my locker Friday. Well then I guess I'm not getting an A on my test.

Luckily my math teacher decided to postpone the test for tomorrow so I still had time to study. My respect and liking to him went up because of this. I began walking towards the cafeteria and sat down at my usual table. I said hello to the kids seated there and began eating my sandwich and chips. I looked around the lunchroom, my eyes hesitating on Eric's group. Eric himself was seated at a different seat than usual, facing me full on. He looked annoyed at Kenny who looked like he was teasing him about something. Suddenly Eric's face turned bright red as he stared at Kenny with a shocked expression on his face. His eyes darted over to me and I quickly averted my eyes before he noticed I was looking at him. I looked back over at his group a few seconds later and noticed Eric was darting his eyes between Kenny and me. I met his eyes with a mildly confused expression and he swiftly looked back down at his lunch.

Cartman

I sat down at our table and began eating lunch. My class before this one is closer to the cafeteria than anyone else's so I was always the first one there. Kenny came up a few seconds later than I, and sat across from me. I could tell he was up to no good by the mischievous expression on his face.

"So, is there any reason why you have a total man-crush on Butters?" Kenny asked, his smile huge and toothy. I looked at him incredulously. Holy shit how did he come to that conclusion so fast? I rolled my eyes and pretended that I was so heterosexual that I couldn't even think about that outcome.

"Kenny you 'tard I'm not gay," I said, and he laughed cheekily before looking at me with an amused expression.

"Mmhm, because you don't have a massive kink for cute little twinks and FYI, Love The Cock sucks compared to Go Guy Plus, even if you can't tell what they're saying," he said smoothly and chuckled. _Oh wait holy motherfucking Christ how does he know about those gay porn sites and how does he know that about me? _I panicked and felt my cheeks turn pink.

"You lent me a flash drive that had quite a bit of porn on it. Most of it did include a rather cute looking boy getting blown," he said and I felt my face light on fire. Oh my God. Oh my _God. What am I supposed to say now? _My mind went blank and I just sat there with my mouth partially open and my face bright red. I looked around the room and saw Butters lick his upper lip as he stared at the air. Ugh this is not helping anything.

"You know I don't care right. I mean, honestly I haven't treated you any differently since I got the flash drive 3 months ago," he said and I felt my face slowly return back to its normal color. That's a good point. If he had really cared all that much then he would've told me so sooner. I felt the corners of my lips dart up at bit for a spilt second.

"Thanks Ken," I said and I watched him as he smiled back as well.

"Don't think you're off the hook yet though, lover boy. I still want to know why you like the Butt-man," he said and I opened up my mouth to respond before closing it again.

"What? I don't like him. I don't have any reason to. I hardly know him anymore." I frowned slightly and looked over at Butters. He looked at me confusedly and I averted my gaze to look back at my uneaten lunch.

"He's not all that different from how he used to be when you knew him. Over time he became accustomed to being alone and became extremely aware of his surroundings, including the people around him and their behavior. He probably knows you and I better than we know ourselves," Kenny said and I looked him. He was still smiling a bit and had a kind look in his eyes.

"Anything else that you want to know, I suggest you spend more time with him and figure it out yourself," he said. I let out a long sigh and nodded my head. I guess I should figure out more him since I have nothing to lose anyway. I heard Stan and Kyle walk up and give their greetings before sitting down next to us. I have a lot to find out about Butters and a limited amount of time to do so. I sighed and began eating my lunch.

Butters

Somebody who I really respect is Kenny. He always seems to know what's wrong with somebody and how to make him or her feel better. It's not just that though, I started noticing today that nobody seems to notice that he does all of this stuff. Or maybe they do but they think that it's just what he does and he shouldn't be constantly thanked or praised for his kind deeds. He's so underappreciated it makes me sad inside. I respect that he can do all of these great things and not get anything in return but still do them. It takes a lot of heart and true intentions to do all of these things. I guess that's why I've always had this admiration towards him all these years. Not in a romantic way, I have no desire to do anything sexual with him, but in a platonic way that compels me to become friends with him or get to know him better than his own romantic partner. I find him a very noble and humble person, and am definitely envious of him. Nobody has any reason to be envious of me, that's for sure. I'm not attractive, horribly smart, popular, good at sports, fun to be around, interesting, or anything else. I'm just another boring kid. Nothing special. But I guess I'm okay with it that way.


	5. Life Lesson Five

_(CHRIST this is taking me a long time to write! I'm so sorry and I feel like a huge dick face for taking so long to post this chapter! I'm losing my motivation to write and I didn't want to disappoint anybody by uploading half-assed chapters. Also, I'd like to mention that I regained a lot of my motivation by reading Qindarka's newest chapter of Aisle 10, so if you haven't read that fic yet then I suggest that you do that this instant! It's a marvelous read!)_

**Life Lesson Five: Making plans Two Hours before Your Curfew is Stupid**

Butters

Today is Friday. I'm currently sitting on the bus, my eyes aimlessly wandering throughout the seats and discreetly hovering over its occupants with interest. I watched as Tweek started writing quickly and sporadically across a loose-leaf piece of paper. His handwriting was small and choppy; I noticed this since he was sitting in the seat across the path from mine. He passed the note next to him to Craig and I watched as Craig wrote back using a thick black pen and wrote only in capital letters even though neither him nor Tweek actually looked angry or upset. It just looked like they wanted to chat but didn't feel like getting overheard or actually opening their mouths. I really do find these two to be such an interesting pair. I shifted my eyes to watch as Token hit on Wendy. Strange, Wendy is completely unaware of his actions even though Token is being horribly obvious. Poor boy, I think he's given up on subtlety. I watched him as he gave up when she wasn't getting the picture and look out the window, probably with a defeated expression on his face. I'd hate to be in his position; unrequited love is never fun. My eyes scanned on over to where Kyle and Stan always sat, except for some reason instead of Stan sitting next to Kyle he was sitting next to Red. Kyle was alone, although he didn't look too uncomfortable, I noticed. Stan seemed to be infatuated with Red, since he kept giving her gooey eyes. Unlike Token's treatment with Wendy, Red was getting the picture and was blushing a shade that complimented her hair very nicely. I looked ahead of me to Kenny and Eric and watched them as they chatted to each other. I sat through the rest of the bus ride without even listening to music and occasionally glancing ahead of me at Eric.

Cartman

"Hey, lets watch a movie tonight," I said, looking over at Kenny as he stretched his arms high above his head. He turned to face me and when he did he had a small frown before it drastically changing into a gleeful expression.

"Nope I can't go tonight, hanging out with Bebe. I'll be at your place tomorrow though so no biggie. But you know who doesn't have any plans and would say yes to a movie offer?" he asked me, his mouth upturning into a devious grin as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. It took me a minute to think up someone who fit the criteria but when it hit me, it _hit me._

"Butters?" I asked him and he nodded his head happily. Of course. There's no way that kid would have plans to do anything this weekend and he can't really say no to anyone. Well, I guess I could see a movie with him. Alone. In a dark theatre. With him probably making all these terrified noises during the scary parts. Nope. We are definitely watching these movies at my house. It's decided. I hazily heard Kenny try to convince me by saying things like 'oh but you really want to watch a movie and he's so sweet he would love to do that with YOU especially!' and the like.

I caught him right between him coming up with the conversation we'd have during the movie when I told him "Sure I'll invite him over later." Needless to say, Kenny looked both surprised and fatherly proud. We pulled up to the stop that Kenny gets off at. I said a farewell to him before he got off the bus. The next stop was Butters' and mine. That was when I was going to ask him if he wanted to watch a movie with me. I felt myself becoming slightly anxious and regarded the feeling only as motion sickness and nothing more. We stopped at the bus stop sign and I walked out and waited outside for Butters to come out.

Butters

As I exited the bus, I noticed that Eric was standing outside of it, waiting for someone. Surely it couldn't be me. I passed him up before I felt an arm grasp onto my forearm. I spun around and watched as Eric awkwardly smiled at me before he started walking in the direction of our houses. I scratched the back of his neck before looking up at the sky. I had my hands still safe and warm in my coat pockets and looked up at him questioningly. He coughed slightly before saying something to break the thick silence.

"So, do you want to see a movie with me tonight," he said before looking down and swallowing thickly. What? He then began backtracking on his words before he shot out a sentence I could comprehend.

"No, Jesus shit man, I mean Kenny said that he couldn't come so he suggested I ask you and it's not like at a movie theatre or anything no man that is so gay. Just at my place after dinner sometime because I am not going to fucking take you out to dinner before watching a movie with you okay?" he said and I was astounded by the light traces of uncertainty that were almost disguised by his naturally confident way of speaking. Eric Cartman? Nervous? Surely I must've imagined it. I looked over at him and noticed the rosy pink highlighting his cheekbones. Oh my god. I felt my own cheeks begin to redden but refused to acknowledge it.

"Sure I'll come. Um, you're picking me up right?" I asked, watching as he stared at the ground while we walked before looking up at me and smiling at me with his eyes.

"Yeah of course. Like I said, I'll be here sometime after dinnertime, like anywhere from 7-9 and we'll hang out and watch a movie, okay?" he said and I felt myself nod back. I then realized that we had returned to my house and I bid him a goodbye before walking into my house.

I told Mom of my after-dinner planes during dinnertime and I watched her as her expression changed from wary to agreeable in a few seconds. She told me she was pleased that I was actually doing something with my free time and that I spent too much time wasting life. I almost took it as an encouraging statement but the way she said it was so cold and rude that I took it merely as a fact of life. Dad just agreed with what Mom said and told me to be home before ten or to stay at his house overnight. I wasn't expecting them to be this agreeable; they must've both had good days today. I smiled and thanked my parents before informing that I was going to work on some of my homework. I did as I said I was going to do before taking a quick shower and staring at my reflection for a few minutes before deciding that I really should work out or something. I'm so skinny, gosh. I wrapped my towel around my waist before walking back to my room and putting on the clothes that I was wearing earlier. I didn't want Eric thinking I was a pansy because he knew that I took two showers in one day. I was ready for the movie tonight and I moved to see what time it was. 8:06. Eric should be here any minute now.

I slouched forward in my seat, my eyes wide with shock and fear as I felt my heart melt in pure distress and agony. I sat criss-cross-applesauce next to Eric as we watched a dramatic action movie at his house. The heroine had been kidnapped and was currently being tortured by the bad guys. A pretty typical plot, I know, but movies like this never failed to get my heart pounding and my heartstrings pulled. I vaguely heard Eric chuckle at me but let it slide. Suddenly the heroine begins screaming in pain and the screen goes black before the credits start playing. I nearly screamed in rage at the annoying way to get viewers to see the sequel. I let out a sigh and looked over at Eric who was giving me a look. I chuckled and looked down at my knees before thinking about how strange this situation was. I looked over at him and watched as he looked at his phone and his eyes widened.

"Shit, I forgot that this movie was 3 hours long, I should've invited you over sooner it's already like 11 PM," he said and then he sighed.

"This is already way past your curfew isn't it?" he said with a defeated look. I gulped and looked down sheepishly before nodding.

"Let me call my mom, hold on," I said and then I dialed her number before telling her what was going on. I paused when she asked me if I was staying the night there.

"Oh, um, I don't know. It is kind of late though let me ask," I said before moving my phone down and biting my lower lip tentatively.

"Am I staying the night here?" I ask, mentally cringing over how shy my voice sounded. Eric looked down before meeting my gaze and I was surprised at how his eyes got softer. I felt my cheeks turn pink but I never did break the eye contact we were sharing. He eventually sighed after about 5 long seconds and reluctantly nodded his head, looking away from me.

"Butters, are you there?" I heard my mother say from the phone. I hastily replied that I was staying the night at his house and said a short goodbye before hanging up. Eric looked at me with an embarrassed expression.

"Well, our house is only two bedrooms, so I don't exactly have a spare room you could stay in, but I could let you borrow my bed and I could sleep on the couch," he said, his voice trailing off at the end as if to imply that he was unsure about the arrangement. I felt myself warm at the thought of sleeping in a place that Eric spent every night in, maybe where he had wet dreams… OH GOSH NO, NO THAT'S LUDE! My cheeks turned darker at the mental images that came with that last thought. I noticed that I still hadn't replied to Eric and in my embarrassment stuttered out a reply.

"O-Oh no, please I really couldn't tell you to do that. I'm the guest; therefore you as the owner have every right to your own bed. I'm perfectly content with sleeping on the couch. I don't want to be a nuisance!" I watched him as looked at me thoughtfully for a few seconds before shrugging and quietly informing me that he was going to fetch a few pillows and a blanket. I looked over at the plush sofa and didn't regret my decision in the slightest. I would feel horrible since he would be sleeping at a couch in his own home. There's also the third option that we could share a bed but we really aren't close enough friends to be able to do that without awkward tension. He came back a few seconds later with two large pillows and a big fluffy blanket and sat them down on the couch.

"Here you go. There are a few spare toothbrushes that are unused in the cabinet under the sink if you want to do that before going to bed. I'll be upstairs in my room. Feel free to come up there whenever. G'night," he said calmly before walking away before I really had time to respond. I did say a rather timid good night back to him but I don't think he heard it. Eric flipped off the TV and the lights on his way out and I let out a sigh. Now I had to straighten out the sheets in the dark. I did the task fairly easily and then settled into the big, soft couch. It was only then that I noticed how tired I really was. That might've been because I usually went to bed at around 9 PM. Pointless to say, but I fell asleep easily and deeply without a dream to be seen.

Cartman

I walked into my room after giving Butters half of my pillows and a blanket and began playing video games. I kept trying to focus on the mindless activity but my brain kept drifting to the blonde boy who was currently resting on my couch. I gave up after a few more minutes of my half-hearted efforts and decided that I might as well go to bed as well. I took off my pants and looked over at my bed, imagining Butters curled up and sleeping with only his boxers on and hugging a pillow to his chest. My cheeks heated up at the image and I willed myself to go straight to bed and forget about him. My mind strayed on countless topics before staying a big, treacherous storm, wind blowing things over and rain pouring on everything. It was the first thing I could think of that didn't remind me at all of Butters. I slept for increments of a few hours before waking up for a few minutes and then falling back into a mildly fitful rest. I guess this is what I get for trying to go to bed early.

Butters

I rolled around on the soft couch again. My eyes were wide open as I stared at the black TV. I rocked my head back and looked over at the window behind me to guess at what time it might be. A thick, pale white stream of light poured in through the curtains showing that it was still early in the morning. I wrapped the blanket that Eric gave me tighter around myself as it was pretty chilly in here. I stared at the ceiling for quite some time until I decided that I should go to the restroom since my bladder feels like it's going to explode. I quietly crawled out from the sheets and picked up my phone from the coffee table near the TV and pressed a button that made the time light up. 7:32. I set down my phone and then leaned over to pop my back. I felt rather grimy from sleeping in the same clothes I'd been wearing since yesterday morning but I decided that I could live through it. I began walking towards the staircase as quietly as I could so I wouldn't wake anyone up. I eventually got to Eric's room walked across the hall from it into the bathroom there.

When I opened the door however, I wasn't expecting to see everything covered in dirty clothes and grunge. The toilet was cleaned as was the shower but those are the only things I can see. I made my way around and on top of the things strewn around the restroom and then took care of my business. The way out was about as hard as the way in and I did trip a few times. I shut the door on my way out and then walked over to Eric's room and peeked inside. A loud snoring sound was emanating from under his sheets and I quickly and quietly shut his door so I wouldn't wake him. I then began making my way downstairs where I sat back down at the couch and leaned back. Now what do I do? I woke up before Eric did and it sounds like his mom isn't up yet either. I haven't been to his house enough times for me to be able to cook something for breakfast for them without it being awkward and I don't know if they'd mind if I turned the TV on. I sighed and lay down. Might as well try falling back asleep again.

Cartman

I woke up for a reason I can't identify. One minute I was sleeping and the next thing you know I'm awake and staring at the backs of my eyelids. I opened my eyes groggily and looked over at my alarm clock. 8:10. Ugh it's too early for this shit. I flopped onto my side and attempted to go back to sleep. After what was probably 5 minutes of me trying to sleep I realized that I probably should get up actually since Butters is here. I sat up and rubbed my face before standing and walking downstairs towards the living room. I saw Butters sitting up on the couch looking at his phone. I plopped down next to him.

"Hey," I said, my voice sound rather gruff since I hadn't used it all day. He looked over at me and smiled a bit.

"Good morning," he responded before setting his phone down and turning his body to face mine partially. I smiled back and rubbed my eyes again. I looked at his soft smile and for some reason I decided that I'm not that angry about being up so early on a weekend.

"What do you want to do for breakfast, I'm starved," I said truthfully. He looked at me thoughtfully before making a short hum. He then shrugged.

"I don't know. We could go out through. We should ask your mom first before we leave, though," he said and I looked away before looking back at him. Mom went out early last night with a client so she's not going to be back until noon.

"Oh, my mom went out. I don't really need to send her a text though," I said vaguely before looking back down. "Let's go eat at that little diner that just opened up." He nodded at my suggestion before standing up and putting on his shoes. I started walking towards the door and grabbed my keys on the way out. The shoes I'm going to wear are on the front doorstep. I put them on and then shut the door after Butters. We got in my car and then started driving towards the diner.

All in all, the breakfast was nice. I ate a stack of pancakes and Butters had waffles. The breakfast was full of short spurts of light conversation between bites. Butters insisted on paying so I let him, even though I suggested that we just split the bill. We left after that and went back to my place where we watched TV for a few minutes and played video games for an even less amount of time. I then took him home after we ran out of things to do.

I pulled my car into his driveway.

"Thanks for letting me stay the night. It was great; I had a lot of fun. The movie was good too," he said before saying how he'd see me Monday at school and whatnot.

"Hey how about you sit at my table during lunch Monday?" I asked, my face set at an exaggeratedly casual expression. I watched him as he looked genuinely surprised before nodding.

"S-Sure that would be great, thanks," he said before stepping out of my car and walking up to his front steps. He smiled and waved at me as I drove away and I sent a one-handed wave at him as well. I drove home while listening to Metallica on the radio.

Butters 

I walked inside my house to be greeted with my parents shooting me worried expressions.

"Why didn't you text or call us about when you were going to get home?" Mom asked me while setting her cup of tea down onto the table. I gulped and shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know, I knew that I was going to get here early so I didn't bother, " I said even though it really just slipped my mind to tell them when I was getting home period. I didn't tell them this though since I knew I would get grounded for it. Mom sighed before taking a sip of her tea.

"Alright, but only because you got here so early. Next time though, you better tell me all right? I also want you to know what your plans are with your friends before 11 PM," she said sternly, her hard gaze fixed on my soft one. I sighed in relief. I was getting let off easy.

"Thanks Mom, I'll plan better next time, I promise," I said before slowly walking upstairs to my room to begin working on my homework.

Cartman

Once Mom got home at around noon, she asked me why there was a blanket and pillows on the sofa.

"Oh, you remember Butters?" I asked her, looking at her to watch her expression. It immediately went to recognition as a bright smile lit her face.

"That sweetheart was here last night? Oh good, I thought you two weren't friends anymore! I'm glad you two are close again, he's a good influence on you," she said happily before walking over to the couch and picking up that blanket to go wash it. I sighed and walked back up to my room to call Kenny and tell him about what went down last night.

"Hey dude, how'd the date go with Butters?" he asked after the first ring. I felt my cheeks darken but rolled my eyes at his comment anyway.

"It wasn't a date, douche bag, we were just hanging out. It went _fine_ by the way. He also ended up staying the night-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa there buddy! I thought you said you weren't goin' to let him stay the night at your place any time soon?" Kenny interrupted.

"I wasn't going to let him stay the night but it was already past his curfew so I let him stay over anyway. He slept on the couch too in case you're wondering," I said back.

"Okay, but seriously. Is he there still?"

"Naw, I took him home a few hours ago after we went to that that new diner for breakfast."

"Oh cool. You wanna go grab a bite to eat?" he asked and I pondered the question for a minute.

"Let's go crash Stan's place and order pizza there," I said and he responded back enthusiastically.

"Awesome! I think he's goin' on a date with Red later but he's probably free right now. Come pick me up in 10," he said before hanging up. I walked over to my dresser and changed into some fresh clothes before running a hand through my hair. I'll take a shower when I get home later. I then told Mom that I was going to hang out with Kenny at Stan's and then left the building.

I arrived at Kenny's a few minutes later to see him waiting outside his house on the sidewalk. He walked up to my car and stepped inside, taking off his hood and pushing his fingers against the hot air vents. I drove us to Stan's house and noticed a white pickup truck was parked outside of his house. Must be Red.

"Hey do you think that's Red's truck?" I asked and Kenny shrugged and pulled out his phone to text Stan about it.

"Yeah, Stan says that him and Red are out eating lunch somewhere together right now and took his car," Kenny responded and I drove out of his driveway.

"Alright so where do you want to go now?" I asked and Kenny shrugged again.

"We can just go to Pie Works or something. I kinda want Chinese though. Let's go to 'Shitty' Wok," he said and I started driving us to our local Chinese restaurant, City Wok. We ate our lunch before leaving and heading over to Game Stop and loitering there for an hour while playing some of the new games in the store. Once we got kicked out we went to Best Buy and did the same thing. I actually ended up buying a game that looked pretty cool called "Mirror's Edge" even though it wasn't that new and the main character was a girl. It had the nicest graphics and a cool plot. We went home and played until dinner and then ate tacos that Mom cooked. She also cooked us cookies that Kenny ate most of. Kenny ended up staying the night also. I guess I really had a busy weekend. It was fun too, even hanging out with that massive Melvin, Butters, who I really like more than I did one month ago.


	6. Life Lesson Six

_(This is the last chapter yay! I'm on Thanksgiving break right now so I had a lot of extra time to finish this up! Thank you for reading! I'm going to post another story soon so look out for it, okay?)_

**Life Lesson Six: Awkward hugs are the first step in the right direction**

Cartman

For some reason, waking up today isn't as hard as it usually is. I awoke with a feeling of true awareness, my eyes less tired than usual. This may be because I got 9 hours of sleep Saturday night and went to bed relatively early last night as well. I stretched my arms across my stomach before squishing the fat there and then getting out of bed, my body still feeling tired and achy from just waking up. I went through my usual morning routine in a daze before walking outside to the bus stop and approaching Butters. My early morning mind wondered what time Butters had to get up every day to get there before me. I rested my hand on his shoulder to get his attention and he didn't flinch this time. He looked over at me with a smile on his face and recognition streamed across his cerulean irises. He pulled out his headphones and gave me his full attention, body facing towards me in a friendly manner. I smiled back at him, the awkwardness between us was fading, if only slightly.

"How's your morning been?" I asked, my smile fading into a hardly upturned line. His stayed intact however and I inwardly smiled at his cheerful attitude.

"It's actually been real good, thanks! How 'bout you?" he responded, his voice less awake than I was expecting and his body punctuating his question with a yawn; I almost chuckled at how cute that was.

"I'm doing well, I wish I didn't have to be awake right now though, ugh I don't like mornings," I said back, complaining about mornings like I do every day. I sighed and looked down at my rugged sneakers.

"I'm not much of a fan for mornings either; I prefer afternoon," Butters said with a tiny smile on his face, his eyes wandering off into some unseen world probably filled with memories of good afternoons of his. I'm a little curious about where he's always looking, what he sees when he dozes off during class and what he dreams about. I've noticed him daydreaming on many occasions and I always think about what it is that he's thinking.

"What do you see when you daydream?" I heard someone say, at the same time my mouth moved. Oh man, I must've accidently said what I was thinking out loud. My expression shifted to clear embarrassment as I watched his eyes turn towards me in a confused manner. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Uh, well that's a strange question to suddenly ask…" he started, his eyes moving downwards and cheeks tinting pink. I felt myself become immersed in mortification as I looked down. Oh man I shouldn't have said something so weird to him.

"Well, I think about oceans and animals and sometimes the stars. But, I'm always alone there in my daydreams. Well, 'cept recently there's been one other person there who says some strange things but it's usually just me and that's it," he responded after a moment, surprising me. I wasn't actually expecting him to answer me.

"…Cool, um, you're… very imaginative," I said after a moment. Butters is always all alone, even in his daydreams. I can't fathom the thought of him not getting along with anyone; his naïve charm and sweet face is too agreeable. I guess that's just me though considering how he barely hangs around anyone. I felt my heart lunge towards him at these thoughts of him being alone. I really don't ever want to see him by himself. My chest started aching and I almost rolled my eyes at how much of a pussy I've been acting like lately. God why don't I care about how lame I'm being right now! I'm seriously starting to worry and care about _Butters_! Why am I so okay about that! I don't even know if he's gay for that matter… he probably wouldn't even go for a guy like me if he were anyway! I sighed and looked down, my eyes feeling heavy as I shut them before scrunching up my eyebrows. I moved my hand up and rested it on my forehead.

"Eric, are you okay? You're looking kind of down…" I jolted my head upwards to see Butters about six inches away from me and looking concerned. I looked away from his bright blue eyes and felt heat rise in my cheeks from the close proximity- oh my god I really am turning into a pussy. I watched as his eyes averted as well before meeting mine with an even more worried look gracing his boyish face.

"I'm fine Butters, just tired that's all," I said back, looking down but not stepping away from him.

"Are you sure?" he asked me; his voice was softer, more caring and shy. I looked at him and smiled gently, my hand moving on its own and resting on his forearm.

"I'm sure, don't worry about it, okay?" I said. I watched as he smiled at me and nodded his head; his cheeks baby pink and eyes shy. I looked down at his clothes today, the same old jacket that he's worn nearly every day since freshman year and black jeans with blue Vans, and a rather tight fitting V-neck tee. He has such a slim body- whoa there, does he seriously have curvy hips oh my god. Wow that is hot.

"You look nice today," I said, looking at his body again approvingly. His hand shot up to his mouth as his face started getting pinker and pinker. He removed his hand and shyly bit his bottom lip.

"Thanks," he said, nervously moving his hand down to straighten his shirt. We still hadn't moved apart from each other and I decided now was a good a time as any and backed away. He did the same and stumbled slightly in his step back but pulled his headphones back in his ears. I watched him from the corner of my eye as his blush gradually started fading. When he met my eye though, I smiled my "lady killer smile" and his blush grew tenfold. Maybe he would go for a guy like me…

The bus pulled up and I sat at my normal seat next to Kenny as Butters walked back to the seat he'd always go to, a faint blush still adorning his cheeks. I smirked to myself at that. He's pretty cute when he's flustered. Kenny looked at me excitedly, well the most excited one can look when you have over half your face covered, and started throwing muffled questions at me.

"Why was Butters blushing? Huh? Huh? Did you kiss him yet? Are you dating him? Did you fuck him?" he said and with that last one I felt my entire face flood with color. Oh my _God_, please do not put those mental images in my head! I coughed and then glared at him.

"_What_? Oh my _god,_ no, Jesus Kenny!" I said, looking down and barely pouting my lips. "Honestly, we were just talking and I told him he looked nice." I shrugged and looked away like it was an average, every day heterosexual thing for me to do. Kenny started chuckling.

"Psh. Don't play coy, Cartman. You never tell anyone that they look nice… you must seriously be falling for him wow," Kenny said, his eyebrows waggling suggestively. I frowned a little and almost shrugged that comment off before I realized how nice I've been being to him lately. I haven't been that kind to someone in a long time, if ever. He's really bringing the gay-ass pussy side out of me and I don't know if I like it or not.

Butters

I began thinking about that little comment that Eric sent me. I became so happy that he thought I looked good, and felt more than a little bit flustered about him checking me out. Just the way that his expression was so pleased just sent shivers up my spine. And then that smile he gave me was very attractive and charming. Gosh I sound really… gay right now. I don't like him… do I? I mean, he's attractive, can stand up for himself, decently smart, sweet, has good taste in movies, has nice friends, and has a nice mom… but I… don't… like him… or anything. I felt heat creep up to my cheeks as I thought about us as a couple. Oh my god we look cute! The only problem would be that he was kind of a huge fucking dick hole throughout my childhood and I did kind of hate him for a while… maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Even though we're on better terms, and possibly even considered friends, I don't think I should be jumping to conclusions like that so soon. He's probably not even gay- wait didn't he have like three million weirdly gay moments all the time during elementary school? No, no, no, no wrong mindset! He's probably not gay. I shouldn't let myself become too optimistic about this; I'll get my heart broken if I think too much. I began thinking about the sun and all of its bright hot glory until we made it to school where I walked to the door and waited for the first bell to ring.

Lunch came a lot faster than expected and I awkwardly stood next to the entrance of the room, thinking about what Eric said yesterday about me sitting at his table during lunch. Does he still think I should sit with him anymore? I mean he has no reason to think otherwise, unless something happened that I wasn't there for, but he shouldn't have any reason to be against me… I shuffled my feet and started slowly walking towards the table I usually sit at before facing Eric's and watching as Kenny gestured for me to come sit with them. I started walking towards their table and sat down on the seat to the right of Eric where an empty seat was. He faced me and I said a casual greeting his way. He smiled that same charming smile he gave me earlier and I fidgeted uncomfortably. I blushed at how flustered I was getting.

"Good afternoon," he said smoothly, his face moving back to his food. Stan and Kyle started walking towards the table and they said a couple greetings to Kenny and Eric before getting to me. Kyle said something to Stan and Stan looked a bit confused and a bit disappointed. I felt mildly uncomfortable about sitting at their table without asking all its occupants first.

"Hey Butters," Stan said looking over at Eric before smiling back at me friendlily. "What brings you to this side of the lunchroom?"

"Uh, actually Eric here suggested I sit with him but I can go back to my other table if you guys aren't okay about me sitting here," I said back at him, probably looking bashful and introverted with my arms close to my chest and eyes looking shyly to them through thick eyelashes. They looked surprised, their gaze meeting the others quickly.

"Cartman? Invited someone to sit with us? Out of the kindness of his heart?" Stan said incredulously.

"Don't fall for any of his shit. If I were you, I would be busting my ass trying to get out of here. He's must have some new plot to kill us all or something, don't join up with him, man," Kyle said, shrugging. I felt myself starting to get angry with these two. Why can't they believe that he's being nice to me just to be nice? Why does he have to have some horrible reason behind this? I know Eric and I know when he's doing some shit to me, but I usually just let him get away with it since WE'RE FRIENDS! I know that he's not doing anything for me; he's so much different, so much kinder!

"Shut up! He's different now! He's not goin' to pull any shit like that to me; I know it! Can you two fuck off?" I said, standing up with my hands firmly planted on the tabletop and eyes angry. When did I stand up? Stan and Kyle looked at me with shocked expressions. I felt my cheeks catch on fire and moved my hands to cover them. I sat back down hastily and looked down at my lap.

"Whoa dude," Kenny said in awe and I looked over to see him staring at me happily. My eyes met Eric's and I noticed him looking equally as surprised as Kyle and Stan with his mouth partially open and eyes wide.

"Did you… mean that?" Eric asked quietly. "You believe I've changed?" His eyes raw and worried, mouth set in a timid line and body moving towards mine. I nodded and smiled kindly at him. He sighed and stared at me for a few seconds before smiling.

"Thanks," he said even quieter and the last thing I was expecting from Eric 'I'll eat your parents' Cartman was a warm hug that, I had to admit, was pretty fucking awkward and I don't use the word "fucking" lightly. I felt my entire body heat up and just prayed to sweet baby Jesus that he didn't feel my heartbeat speeding up. I moved my arms from his grasp and wiggled them around his neck in a pretty gay way but honestly I'm so beyond caring right now. I patted his back a few times and he pulled back slightly after a few seconds. I met his eyes and smiled at him sweetly. My hands were still around his neck and I'm sure we looked like one of those really annoying couples that just hang off each other- oh my god this is so _gay_! He looked away from me with a red face and I almost giggled at how cute that was… I think I'm falling for him, oh man!

Cartman

His arms are still around my shoulders and I cannot put into words how cute he is acting right now. I'm just glad that somebody other than Kenny has realized that I'm different from how I was when I was a kid. I mean, I'm no saint or anything, but I'm not as horrible as I used to be. And for the person I used the most, who was nothing but kind to me, to realize this about me and the fact that recently I've been forming an attraction for him made me just want to hold him forever. I'm so far from caring about what Stan and Kyle think about me right now. They can suck my balls, I'm fucking gay and I like this cute blonde boy, GET OVER IT. I looked back at Butters and attempted to convey both my feelings of gratitude and my attraction in one look. I watched as his eyes grew large and a shaky smile appeared on his face as he started inching closer to me. A pink blush peppered his cheeks and his nose was about an inch from mine. Only a breath away from us kissing- when Kenny coughs into his fist and both me and Butters jerk away from each other. I felt my entire face flood with red as I thought about how carried away we were getting, I mean, we almost kissed! Kenny smiled a knowing smile and I didn't even want to look at Stan and Kyle.

"There. If Cartman were going to pull some shit, he would've done it then. There's no way he would've gone that far if he was just planning on using sweet little Butters. I'm a little surprised that you guys went to that conclusion so fast anyway; I mean he hasn't pulled that shit in years. Just leave him and Butters alone," Kenny said in a calm, clear tone that just radiated authority. He had a mature expression on his face and I stared at him in awe and happiness. He looked at Butters and his eyes smiled sweetly.

"I know you two would like some time to suck face, however this is a public lunchroom so I had to stop you guys, sorry," Kenny said, a suggestive tone to his voice and a smirk (most likely, under his hood) gracing his features. I felt my face flush and I looked down. I found the courage in me to look at Stan and Kyle and watched as Stan shrugged and Kyle just looked mildly surprised.

"I kind of already guessed that you were gay, but I didn't think it was for Butters. Whatever, just don't like make out in front of us or anything," Kyle said and then he looked at Stan.

"Uh, you're gay?" Stan said and Kyle rolled his eyes. I swear to God this kid has no gaydar. "That's cool, I guess. Um, yeah what Kyle said." I looked over at Butters to see him looking appreciative and grateful at Stan and Kyle. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and inched closer to him.

"So does this mean we're official?" I asked him and he grinned before looking down mischievously.

"Only if you apologize for the things you did to me when we were kids," he said with an extremely cute pout on his lips. His eyes were playful and cheeks rose colored. I looked down at him seriously.

"Of course. I'm sorry for being a dick to you," I said and he smiled at me.

"Apology accepted," he said and started moving towards me. I cupped his cheek in my hand and moved his chin up. He rested his hands on my shoulders and started moving his face upwards. Our schoolmates be damned; I'm going to fucking kiss my boyfriend in public if I want to. Our lips met gently with shared affection. I felt our bodies come closer together and I wrapped my free arm around his hips. I felt a little groan escape his lips and become muffled against my own. I felt my face heat up tenfold and slowly started pulling away from him; he did the same and looked up at me with an adorable expression.

"Let's do that more sometime, alright?" I just nodded my head.

Kenny

Kenny and Butters forming a relationship wasn't a surprise to me; I kind of thought that they were attracted to the other since they were kids. I guess that some relationships are fate, but others aren't that simple. I have my own relationship issues to work out but I can't deny the fact that Cartman and Butters becoming a couple is a great joy for me. There isn't anyone better suited for the other. Nobody else would've been able to forgive Cartman, and not many others would be able to get used to Butters' bashfulness and naivety. They have many things to learn about each other but they have all the time in the world. To say that they were a good couple would be an understatement. I'm very happy for them and I bid them a good relationship and a happy life together.

-END-


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